Frank’s Mild Panic - (light roast) Limited

Light Roast • Complex Flavor • Emotional Instability

Frank didn’t want to make this coffee. He didn’t want to be involved. He didn’t want to be awake. But here we are.

Frank’s Mild Panic is a bright, jitter-inducing blend of washed Ethiopian, Guatemalan, and Brazilian beans—because apparently “balance” is a thing now. Expect blackberry-like acidity (Frank calls it “fruit panic”), caramel sweetness (he calls it “suspicious”), and hints of plum and black tea (he calls it “why are we still doing this?”).

It’s smooth. It’s layered. It’s the kind of coffee that shows up in a ghost costume, knocks over your mug, and leaves without saying goodbye.

Each box is covered in Frankisms, seasonal snark, and one deeply unamused illustration of Frank as a Halloween pumpkin. He hates it. You’ll love it.

Bonus guilt trip: For every box sold, Frank donates $2 to Pawsitively Cats, a rescue full of charming, slightly dramatic felines who deserve cozy corners and second chances.  

Frank calls it “a reluctant alliance with the fluffier undead.” We call it kindness.

Drink it while wrapped in a blanket.  

Question your life choices.  

Avoid eye contact with decorative gourds.  

—Frank O'Lantern